Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
