he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
