I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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