I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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