He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
