Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
