I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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