Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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