I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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