DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
