I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize