So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
