bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
