It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
