I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
