Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
