its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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