i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
