oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We are two peas in an std pod
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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