He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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