I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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