STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
