I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
