I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
