she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
