Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
