Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
