I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
