The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
