how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize