I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
