Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
