it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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