According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
