Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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