we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
