Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
