I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
