What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
