I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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