There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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