I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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