He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
