i jhust puked up my retainher.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
how does that bad decision feel?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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