We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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