Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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