to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
