two words: eviction party
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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