so that wasnt chicken after all
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
