Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
