At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
