Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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