the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
50% drunk capacity currently
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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