ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
