There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
