i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
