dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
