We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
