: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
