I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
