Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
