yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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